What prompted my posting this is lately I've been reading about the astronomical growth of prescriptions being written for this drug that is in my opinion, MUCH more dangerous than most street drugs.
This is a powerful substance that is not to be fucked with and I feel I have almost killed myself several times whilst under the influence of Zolpidem (hereafter called Stilnox). Reading the trip reports on Erowid made me laugh hysterically in some bizarre emphatic way at what these people described happening whilst under the influence of a much lower doses than I took; ie 10-20mg
One never remembers much from Stilnox as it's a potent amnesiac at a very low dose. All I usually remembered was the first half hour after taking the pill and then waking up in the morning to discover what damage had been done. I also have vague dreamlike memories of certain periods of time although it is so confusing to discern what happened when, when working out these memory dreams.
Bizarrities - A list of occurrences and effects whilst under the influence, I do not remember doing MOST of these things...but the evidence is there when you wake up in the morning and from what others tell you...not always nice to be told you said and did some fucking bizarre shit! Now heres a list of my personal experiences and what I did whilst on Stilnox:
DVD's watched and many destroyed by carpet scratches, strewn about carelessly.
Messy plates of food left all over the house and in weird locations like in a drawer! Food somehow spilled onto walls, carpet, roof, bedding, clothing and furniture (everywhere but the mouth it seems!) Almost every dish in the house used in the cooking process...
Waking up to discover I'd been crushing the pills and then snorting the stuff off a mirror with a 5 dollar bill and the residue still crusted to my entire nostril area down to my mouth and a very bitter taste in the back of throat.
Going for night walks to visit somebody yet nobody (if that can make sense). Hallucinating that I'm walking with a group of mates on said walks. Also hallucinating many shadow people darting about. Hallucinated friends may appear as celebrities, unknown people but in the dreamlike state it all feels very real and natural to be hanging out with such people. I usually remember my night walks.
Repetitive statements being said alongside extremely bizarre comments. Such as telling someone I had become the moon! The end is near. Talking about UFO's and space related nonsense.
Cup of tea spilled from the floor and ALL over hallway walls AND roof, alongside food! Drinking cup after cup of tea whilst under influence, constantly spilling drinks whilst clumsily drinking it.
Taking up to an extra 5-6 pills in the night after the original pills. I had no control over this as I cannot remember taking the extra pills.
Calling people on the phone and saying weird yet funny things. Thankfully I never lost a friendship over Stilnox.
Sleeping on front lawn.
Staring into space/sky for hours without moving. Mumbling about shooting stars. I must have been watching for them at night. No wonder I woke with sore neck sometimes!
Extreme dis-inhibition and honesty.
Clumsiness and staggering gait yet I feel as though I'm walking fine.
Injuries and unknown bruises. I must have been falling over a lot.
The list could go on but my memories regarding Stilnox are like dream memories, vague.
I came to the conclusion that I must've rarely slept when I took this drug as my house was always totally messed up each and every night on the stuff. Thank fuck I never went driving like some people...maybe I did and was touched by an angel? I had a car.
Sometimes I wonder how many times I came close to death while under the influence of Stilnox. I would have been blissfully unaware of any danger and would have laughed it off...probably hysterically!
What is so wrong with prescribing benzo's nowadays, at least I sleep on them. Why give everyone these new and dangerous 'Z' drugs.
For a single person living alone it can spell the end.
Feel free to ask me to elaborate or share more of my experience with this drug.
With Light, Anton
