Post Valium Binge

After having consumed 30 of the 5mg Valium tabs over the past few days, today is the day I have ran out and am in the process of regaining my emotional state again.



I still feel very much affected by the 'Sweet, Refreshing' Valium and am still so calm in every possible way, which is not a bad thing at all for me.

Knowing my drugs (Yes I'm a Drug Geek!)I know what is currently affecting my is the metabolite Nordiazepam. This is what regular Diazepam (Valium) metabolizes to inside the body. I spend vast amounts of time investigating and researching every drug of interest, hell every possible thing that catches my attention I must research or k now the basics.

As you can obviously tell I'm fucking fascinated with pharmacology and how drugs work in the body...it's my niche! Experiment and document!

Back to how I feel...

A slight hint of apathy and a desire to take more tabs but thankfully I have no more left.

This is a visual of how I feel!



Surprisingly I've been active today, having just completed 4 hours of gardening and lawn mowing! I like this feeling. I am energized after the recent complete apathetic bliss I've so recently experienced!

Tomorrow I will be slightly edgy. I know this from past experience but I'm comforted by the fact I have a full day of work tomorrow, thus occupying my mind for 10 hours of the day! The fact that I have a love/hate relationship with Diazepam works in my favor as I now will not desire to be so out of it for quite awhile now!

Tomorrow...



End of post, hope you liked!

With Love and Light

Diazepam Downfall

I am terrible. When it comes to acquiring pharmaceuticals I find the actor in comes alive, and I'm no actor by all means.

This doctor I visited so apprehensively yesterday to acquire my next two months of daily drugs, and one of those drugs is a 5mg tablet called Valium. Now I don't find Valium particularly appealing myself but fuck me, whenever there is a chance to acquiring Valium (or any other quality pharm), them most likely I will take it just to see what it does!

This was yesterday, now I only have less than 15 pills and my mind is wondering where the hell they all went? Did I sleepwalk last night (as I do) and actually consume a dose equating 10 tablets? I don't remember except I slept through the whole night (first time in months!).

If this is true then I must have sleepwalked and no wonder I woke up so late today, groggy as hell!

Ah, pill adventures! Too bad I never remember them!

I tried to add a pic to this post but for some reason I cannot...

With Love and Light

How I Became A Junkie

Approximately 5 years ago when I was 23, I got myself circumcised and this was the beginning of my downfall.

I was already a drug user, and at the time I was withdrawing from a Xanax addiction. After the operation I was given Oxycodone tablets...and I loved them and how they made me feel so damn good and pain free. I kept taking Oxycodone and when I ran out I began using large amounts of Codeine and over the years the amount I was taking grew considerably.

3 years later and very heavily addicted to opiates I am grossing 1000mg+ a day of Codeine. I could not control the urge to be high 24/7 and I was scared to death of withdrawal.

I had a pharmacy roster and had over 40 regular pharmacies I would travel to to acquire codeine tablets. It was when some of the pharmacists got suspicious and banned me from buying codeine that I went to the Drug Treatment centre and sought help in the form of Suboxone.

And to this day I am still on Suboxone. This technically I am still a junkie.

Got questions? Ask and I shall answer...

With Love and Light

Pop That Tramadol Baby!

Pain.

My worst enemy, yet most familiar to me.

Several painful cavities throb in my lower jaw, teeth destroyed by dissolving sublingual buprenorphine tablets. Gradually eroding the enamel off of the teeth with it's hydrochloride base. Hardcore pharmaceutical candy with a toxic lemon/lime flavor.

Being the risk taker that I am, I took a total of 10 tramadol hydrochloride (500mg) all at once to ease myself of this suffering. I am very high, and feel as if I am floating outside of my own body and that my soul is bouncing when I walk. The pain has dissipated, although I am aware that the pain is still lightly there, my mind is now occupied by the tramadol.

An uneasy thought has washed over me just now, and that is that I could be going through Serotonin Syndrome with the way I feel right now.

Tramadol doesn't feel much like other opioids, rather it feels like a cheap synthetic high. I am just happy to not be in pain for a little while. Lexapro, Tramadol and Buprenorphine are probably not the safest combination.

As I said earlier, I'm a risk taker.

And I love it!

I need caffeine...